The Tale I Told to the Breeze
by Sowing Poppies
Summary: [AkuRoku] Axel, who is in love with Roxas, who is in love with the world. Because there is only one way this can end.


A/N: Oops. I didn't notice that I lost all the formatting the first time I uploaded it. Fixed now.

Rating: PG-13

Length: Oneshot

-8-

"_The price to pay is_ –there are little holes in the page here, so I can't really read it. Mmm, oh, it goes on-_ one word, each day_."

Larxene's voice drops off as she squints down at the decaying page and tries to make out the rest of the text. The tome is ancient and dusty, dug up from the forgotten shelves at the back of the bookcase in the library of the castle. Roxas thinks the book has been there ever since the castle was built, Larxene thinks somebody brought it back from another world, and Axel just can't bring himself to care. They read through it because they are still hung up on that stupid thing called hope.

"The middle part is gone," Larxene grumbles, "Molded away or eaten or something." She flips the book shut, unsettling a cloud of dust that makes her eyes water and her nose itch. She rubs at it absently.

"Here, let me see it." Roxas holds up his hand from the couch and she flings it at his head. When he catches it with ease, Larxene feels a twinge of something awfully close to disappointment.

"This is a really old spell," Roxas mutters, gloved finger tracing around a diagram and smearing some ink across the page. "I've never even heard of this kind of magic before."

Axel pokes up his spiky red head from behind a pile of books and blinks sleepily.

"S'wha-?"

"Nothing, Ax." Roxas's mumbles some words under his breath as he takes down a few notes and leafs through the fragile pages quickly. "Go back to sleep."

Axel yawns and flops back down.

He is snoring by the time Roxas finally figures out what the purpose of the spell really is. The blonde almost knocks over his chair as he runs to Axel and nudges him awake with a foot.

"I got it!"

Axel cracks his eyes open blearily and almost grumbles, 'what?'. But then he sees a pair of bright blue orbs shining with a desperate light and the words won't come out.

"Good job," Axel mumbles instead and tries to stifle a yawn.

He takes a quick look around and notices the absence of another blonde head. "Where's Larxene?"

"Hmm?" Roxas looks up from his notes with the hint of a smile quirking his lips. "She went back to her room hours ago. It's past midnight."

"Oh." Axel breaks into a leer and slips his arms around Roxas's neck, pulling down the slight boy to land on his lap gracefully.

Everything about Roxas is graceful, Axel decides absently.

"So," He threads his fingers through silky golden locks and wonders distantly why it sort of smells like home. "What are you so excited about?"

Roxas's face loses its desperate intensity as the boy breaks into an unexpected grin. "That book Larxene was reading earlier? I looked through it again, and it's got some really old magic. Stuff the Superior probably hasn't even heard about because he's only looking in recent studies and that guy –Ansem's?- journals. Actually, I'd be surprised if anyone's read this thing in the last hundred years since its been buried in the back of library for the better half of the century and-"

Axel looks up at the ceiling and murmurs, "I should care, _why_…?"

"I found a spell that'll give us back our hearts."

Axel's eyes snap down to lock with blue, and he feels something jolt in his chest cavity uncomfortably.

"Ah."

-8-

The spell is anticlimactically simple, involving a few symbols drawn in chalk, a match, and a couple of strands of hair. The red clashes horribly with the gold, Axel notes absently as he twines them together and sets the strands on the clean white floor.

"This is it?"

Roxas looks a little nervous but he nods quickly, jerkily.

"Yeah, should be it."

Right now, Larxene is upstairs somewhere, sleeping. Axel can imagine her screams ringing in his ears tomorrow morning when she finds out just what she missed out on.

"Well… here goes."

Axel lights up the match with a snap of his fingers and Roxas rolls his eyes in response.

"Can't you just use the matchbook like a-"

Roxas's voice is cut off as the blonde chokes and lurches forward, hands clutching at his chest frantically. His eyes are wide and terrified when he falls down to his knees with a painful thump.

Axel almost tries to catch him but stops when he feels a little jerk in the hole where his heart is supposed to be, and pretty soon he's gasping for air as something twists and pulls and sinks into his soul and he's fumbling around for Roxas's hand as a formless shade of black seeps into his vision so he thinks this is it and-

Axel learns that a heart is a painful thing to have.

-8-

When Axel finally comes to, there is an ache in his chest, sort of like when he thinks about Roxas leaving sometimes, and he can feel a steady rhythm pulsing in his ears until he gets a headache just trying to think through the noise.

He feels mildly disappointed that this –tissueorganmuscle- is what they have been striving over so desperately.

Roxas stirs from beside him and after a moment sits up slowly, wincing. Axel thinks he looks a little worse for wear but wisely keeps his mouth shut.

The blonde runs a hand through his mussed hair and asks carefully, "Did-?"

His mouth snaps shut after the first word and his hands fly up to his face in alarm. Roxas's eyes are bleeding blue confusion but Axel doesn't know what to say. Doesn't even know what's happening to them.

"What-"

He can't get out any other words; tongue stuck and jaw suddenly locked. His bones creak when he tries to force them open and his new heart is pounding deafeningly as something tumbles around in his gut and he thinks this might be fear.

Unexpectedly, Larxene's sharp voice drifts through his mind as he remembers the day in the library:

"_The price to pay is __xxxxxxxxxxx__ one word, each day."  
_

(the limit of)

-8-

"_Did it work?"_

"_What happened?"_

-8-_  
_

They travel to a city whose name they can't pronounce in a world that has long since been overlooked or forgotten by everyone but its own inhabitants.

It is a quiet place where the natives speak in tongues and walk around the sunny, cobbled streets with pastel parasols held in their daintily gloved hands. There are seas of pretty white dresses and pressed shirts that mill about under the sun, exchanging pleasantries and bright, tinkling laughter. Nothing much ever happens in this world, and there is a high probability that nothing much ever will.

They buy a small flat overlooking the tiny shops below.

Assimilation comes easy, especially after the neighbors and shop owners come to understand that they are mute (mostly). Roxas draws pictures in a little notebook he carries around with him to show what he wants, and the system works reasonably well.

Roxas's notebook becomes a permanent extension of the boy himself, as does the pen he tucks behind his ears or twirls around his fingers. They figure out almost immediately that they are still allowed write to one another, so they do. They hold conversations in scrawled ink and carefully scripted words, and Axel has memorized Roxas's handwriting well enough to copy it.

And,

(Axel pulls Roxas down for a kiss and sneaks a hand up under his shirt, green eyes on fire)

Some things are actually better without words.

-8-

They walk to the small café at the end of the block, hands entwined, and none of the passersby care. Occasionally, a man will tilt his hat towards them or a woman will smile politely and nod. The doll-like people of this world are polite to a fault.

The owner of a corner grocery store gives them a little wave as they pass by his neatly stacked fruit display, a happy smile crinkling up his round face until Axel thinks he looks like a very happy raisin. Roxas shops there once a month, which apparently makes him a regular. He waves back and grins because it is just that kind of day.

The sun is shining down and it feels kind of nice.

Roxas pulls out his notepad after they find a seat at a patio table and writes _'how long have we been on this world?'_ in his narrow, slanted script.

Axel holds up his index finger and Roxas knows he means a year. The blonde's face, normally apathetic or heavily veiled, seems to be loosening up under the bright afternoon sun. A content smile is playing on his lips, and the sight makes Axel swallow involuntarily.

He leans over to kiss Roxas hard, hand seeking out the boy's bony knee under the table.

Axel misses the flash of pain on Roxas's face as he attempts to suffocate the blonde using his tongue.

The waiter comes over a moment later and smiles when he sees they are busy. The man takes a step back and gazes politely at the sky while he waits for their order. Something is bubbling up inside of Axel's chest like champagne, and he decides that it is laughter.

The sky is blue and endless.

Axel breaks off and hastily places his finger randomly on the plastic menu because neither one of them can understand the gibberish words. He holds up two fingers to indicate his order and the waiter nods like he understands perfectly.

"Ah, oui. Deux cafés pour les deux messieurs. Bon." The waiter wanders away with their menus tucked under his arm and Axel idly watches him leave.

"Axel," Roxas breathes, dragging Axel's attention to a pair of blue eyes, bright and intense under a fringe of messy blonde hair. Roxas's voice, is quiet and the rare sound of it makes something in Axel's chest constrict.

He has already used up his one word earlier that morning, so instead he reaches over to take the delicate hand drumming on the table with his own and holds onto it, tight.

It is this one day out of many that stays in Axel's memories, and he's not really sure why.

-8-

'_Who's Sora?'_

Axel blinks and has to read over the words twice before he gets over his shock and pastes on a plaster-white smile; he hopes Roxas doesn't notice the difference. His heart is racing as he takes the pen away and writes:

'_Don't know. Why are you asking? Hey, should I be jealous?'_

Roxas's eyes flick over his messy handwriting quickly and the boy shrugs. Axel can see delicate bones shift under the thin fabric of a black T-shirt and thinks it's horribly unfair for this to happen now. Just when Axel was starting to hope again.

'_No reason. I was just wondering.'_

Axel swallows past the lump in his throat and tries to force out a laugh as anxiety presses down him. His heart is sinking fast and he wonders if it will reach his feet.

'_That's a really random thing to ask,'_ he writes, handwriting shaky and he can't help it.

Roxas looks at him carefully for a moment before reaching for the paper.

'_Why are you so scared?' _

Axel is angry now; angry that Roxas wants to find out more when _this_ is so obviously enough; they have their hearts, their happily ever after, their own place to call home, and-

His throat hurts.

Roxas jabs his pen at the original question again, expectant.

'_Who's Sora?'_

"Fuck!" Axel yells out loud, making Roxas jump a little, but it goes unnoticed as Axel storms out of their flat in a rage. He slams the door hard and a glass bottle falls of a shelf, crashing to the hardwood floor in a crescendo of splintering glass.

After a few moments, Roxas gets down on his knees to clean up the shards. Axel leans against the wall in the hallway with his head buried in his shaking hands.

He wants to apologize but he's run out of words.

-8-

Axel stays up late that night, writing into a notebook everything he knows about the Organization and Sora and Kingdom Hearts. It isn't all that much, but he hopes it will be enough. He doesn't have anything else to give.

"Here," Axel says the next morning, holding out the notebook.

Roxas glances up and he must notice Axel's red-veined eyes, the tight line his mouth is making and the way his heart feels like its stalling. But the blonde just takes the notebook from his hand and flips it open.

Axel tracks his progress by watching blue eyes widen slowly in astonishment as Roxas absorbs and calculates and does what he does best. Axel finds himself unable to turn his gaze anywhere else, and it feels sort of like watching a bomb go off from two feet away.

"Thanks," Roxas says softly, his thoughts somewhere else.

Axel hears,

'_Goodbye.'_

-8-

A couple of days pass by peacefully enough, but they both know it's only the calm before the storm.

Sure enough, Axel sees a carefully folded letter on his bedside table one morning and stares at it for a few minutes with his hands clenched into crumpled sheets. He wonders idly what would happen if he never opens it. Will Roxas never leave?

He thinks that Roxas isn't the type to go without saying goodbye.

(He thinks a lot of things that aren't true lately.)

Axel gives in eventually and unfolds the letter.

And

jumps out of bed to find Roxas, stupid guilty Roxas, who has a conscience and thinks that it's wrong to steal a heart from a boy (hero) who needs it more and

is too damn stupid to understand that _Axel's_ the one needs him now; needs him so bad it's pathetic and painful and he doesn't _want_ to let go, fuck the worlds, it's Axel turn to finally get what he wants and-

And all Axel wants is Roxas.

-8-

Axel grabs Roxas's wrist as the boy tries to get away; throws the blonde up against the wall so he can lean down and sink his teeth into the exposed neck viciously. He grips hard enough to bruise because he doesn't plan on letting go. Not in this lifetime.

Roxas shoves him away harshly and Axel remembers that even though the boy looks like a pretty doll, he can still fight like the very best and worst of them (every member of the Organization has the scars to prove it).

But Roxas doesn't go in for the kill after he makes Axel fall back, stumbling. He doesn't even try to land another blow.

The blonde pulls out a black marker and begins writing on the wall:

'_I have to give Sora his heart back so he can go save the world'_

Axel shakes his head violently and grabs the pen away, scrawling:

'_You don't. You can stay here with me, and we'll run so far away that it won't matter what happens to the rest of the universe because it won't be able to touch us and I'll be there and I won't let you go-'_

His writing becomes illegible as he scribbles faster and faster and finally stops at the door frame because he can't write on empty space.

Roxas follows with his eyes and shakes his head when Axel turns to him, pleading.

"Roxas," Axel says simply, because it is the only word in the whole wide world that makes sense right now; it is everything from a prayer to a curse and Axel wishes he can say it over and over but he can't.

He hopes once is enough.

Roxas seems to pause for a moment before he turns to walk away but Axel reaches out and latches onto his wrist once again. His fingers dig into the fresh bruise marks until he's sure his fingers are grinding against bone and it must be painful but he doesn't care anymore.

The blonde whirls around and says quickly, "Don't". His eyes are open and pleading for once, and Axel finds he can't refuse. Not when Roxas is looking at him like that.

He lets go of the hand and stares down at the ground, frustrated and desperate and feeling so damn helpless.

(He doesn't care much for his heart right now.)

Axel misses the stunned look on Roxas's face as the boy stares at the dropped limb in blank incomprehension.

By the time Axel looks up, Roxas has managed to slip on a mask of cool detachment and continues towards the door.

(Axel can stop him now if he really wants to)

Roxas's hand is on the handle and his fingers are shaking.

(but the boy wants to go)

Roxas pauses at the open doorway, his frame stiff and taut.

(hold him go on and hold onto him you idiot.)

Axel opens his mouth to yell, "Wait!" but he's already used up his one word and then it's too late because

Roxas is gone.

And

He's never coming back

-8-

_The blonde whirls around and says quickly, "Don't-"_

Don't let me go

-8-

Roxas doesn't want to die.

Hands clenched tightly in his pockets, he gazes up at Sora's sleeping face and swallows hard.

"Looks …"

(Looks like**somebody's** summer vacation is finally dead & buried & over with)

-8-

RoxasIamsofuckingsorrypleasedontleavemeIcantstanditwhenyouregoneIfuckohgoddonthatemebutIloveyouanddontworryI

"Roxas..."

I'mcomingtogetyousoonso

"Who the hell are you? I- Fuck, go away, just go away. I said get away from me!"

somaybeyouwilltellmetoo

-8-

Axel learns that having no heart is really _not_ the worst feeling in the world.

Axel thinks one word will never be enough when it comes to Roxas. One life won't be, either

He still doesn't know what he should have said.

And when the end finally comes, after miles and miles of screaming and scraped knees, Axel-

He's all smiles.

-8-

(because there is nothing left after that but blue skies and bright eyes and the scent of homefuckinghome on the passing breeze)


End file.
